


You’re Purr-fect

by HeroesOfOlympus



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, NOT mcu spideypool because that is a big no, Spideypool - Freeform, i guess it’s crack-ish, spiders purr?? fun facts, yes there are puns because I cannot go one second without making jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:06:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23622040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeroesOfOlympus/pseuds/HeroesOfOlympus
Summary: Based off an ask I received on Tumblr:male wolf spiders purr to attract mates, but this only works if the male is in contact with the mate, so i propose: spideypool cuddles, but peter suddenly starts purring and wade has an internal freakout and during the next month just. will not stop bugging peter about it because "oh my god do spiders p u r r peter why didnt you tell me"
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 14
Kudos: 392





	You’re Purr-fect

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this on tumblr like a year or two ago and was suddenly reminded of it by a mutual who told me to put it on AO3 because they hate the format in tumblr like JAHDKAHD same dude but I’m lazy?? Anyway, I finally did it today but I also added more stuff because I have this problem where I can’t see my word count below 1,000 words rip me
> 
> Based off the ask I got from @sams-s on Tumblr:  
> male wolf spiders purr to attract mates, but this only works if the male is in contact with the mate, so i propose: spideypool cuddles, but peter suddenly starts purring and wade has an internal freakout and during the next month just. will not stop bugging peter about it because "oh my god do spiders p u r r peter why didnt you tell me"

They were just cuddling on Wade’s bed, a show playing in the background that they weren’t playing any attention to, and suddenly, a noise rumbles out from Peter’s chest — a noise sounding suspiciously close to a purr.

The mindless chatter Wade had been spewing from his mouth comes to a halt, his hand which had just grabbed another slice of pizza hovering in the air uncertainly. He turns his head slowly to the side, staring at Peter with undisguised and slightly dramatised shock.

The sound of a car door slamming shut jolts Peter, who immediately then untangles himself from the combined mess of Wade’s and his limbs. He shoots up and meets Wade’s eyes for a moment, before facing the television nervously.

Even in the poorly lit room, where the only light source came from the yellow glow of the street lamps outside the window, Wade could easily tell that Peter was blushing. Call it Boyfriend instincts, or just how insanely incredible he is, the mercenary just _knew_ Peter’s face was now a lighter shade of his suit.

As Peter kept his eyes trained on the screen, shoulders drawn up to his ears and a hand subtly covering his mouth, Wade played the sound the brunet made over and over again in his head, internally freaking out.

‘Was that a purr? That sounded like a purr. Was it though? Maybe his stomach growls weird or something? He’s so cute? Oh my gosh, _oh my gosh, ohmygosh-_ ’

The feeling of the mattress rising back up interrupts his thoughts and before he manages to say anything, Peter mutters a quick goodbye, not even sparing a glance at him, and rushes out the room. The next thing Wade knows, he hears the front door being slammed and he’s left alone in his bedroom, cursing his big mouth for not being big enough for once.

—————

The very next day, Wade swings (haha) by Peter’s apartment, intent on questioning him about the previous night. When the latter eventually comes in after a long day of fighting crime and work, he freezes at the doorframe, staring at Wade with wide eyes. Coming to his senses, Peter begins to distract himself by packing the mess in the corner of the room, fully ignoring the pouting man stretched across his couch.

“Peter, Pete, _Petepetepetpetepete-_ ”

“What?” The brunet asks indifferently, the pink glow on his cheeks saying otherwise while Wade grins at gaining his attention. 

“Are you sure you’re Spiderman and not, like, Felineman or something?” 

Peter finally turns around to face Wade, staring at him with exhaustion as he deadpans, “What.”

“I mean, yesterday when we were snuggling-”

“Don’t say snuggling,”

“-You sounded like you purred. Was it a purr?”

The red glow returns to Peter’s cheeks in full force and he gives a cough, crossing his arms over his chest whilst he gives a hesitant nod. A loud gasp comes from Wade, along with a drawn out, disbelieving ‘really?’ that reminds Peter of a kid.

Immediately, Peter regrets ever answering Wade’s question as the latter spends the next month rattling off endless questions about Peter and his ability to purr. (“Cats purr, you purr, so does that mean you can speak to cats?” “Oh my god, do spiders purr? Peter, why didn’t you tell me?”)

One day, when Wade asks his tenth question of the day about The Parker Purr, wondering why spiders even purr, Peter lets out a drawn out sigh, looking up from his work with tired eyes.

“Male wolf spiders purr to attract mates but it only works if they’re in contact with their mates, alright?”

Silence fills the room, and just as Peter is about to focus on his work again, satisfied that he won’t be interrupted with anymore questions for the next few minutes, an astonished look crosses Wade’s face.

“You were trying to attract me? Does that mean you think I’m your mate? _Aw_ , Pete,”

The scathing, sharp remark dies on Peter’s lips the moment he turns around, spotting Wade _positively_ beaming at Peter. The brunet can’t find it in himself to be that annoyed when Wade looks like that, so he opts for another sigh, smiling softly, albeit embarrassed, while leaning in to give his boyfriend a peck on the cheek.

Returning his focus back to the papers laid out in front of him, a comfortable silence settles over them, the only sound in the apartment being the scratchings of Peter’s pen and the clunky tapping of his old keyboard. Barely a minute passes by, before Wade perks up from where he had been strangely frowning quietly at the weird water spot on the ceiling, exclaiming out loud and disturbing Peter once again.

“Wait! Is that why you’ve stopped letting me cuddle with you? Because we’d be in contact with one another?”

Seeing the embarrassed look flashing across Peter’s face, Wade lets out a whine, circling his arms around his boyfriend and pulling him away from his work. Staggering backwards, the both of them flop down onto the couch, their bodies squeezed into the tiny space contently.

Letting out a surprised wheeze under the sudden weight of a grown man’s body, Peter makes an obligatory muffled sound of complaint, juxtaposing the eager way he curled his arms around Wade, hands running up and down his back softly. Pushing back the brunet’s hair that had fallen messily over his eyes, Wade is silent for once, simply stroking his thumb over the back of Peter’s head before planting a gentle kiss at the corner of his upturned mouth.

“I can’t believe you’ve deprived me of this and your adorable purr for a month,” Wade murmurs, burrowing his face into the crook of Peter’s shoulder. Chuckling quietly, the photographer draws his partner closer to his chest, closing his eyes peacefully.

Despite the fact that their cheeks and bodies were pressed against one another in such a tight space, there was a spring digging into Peter’s back, and they felt like they were about to fall off the couch if any wrong, jarring movements were made, they had never felt more comfortable or relaxed.

Warm from both their feelings and their close proximity to one another, they slowly drifted off to sleep until the only sound left in the apartment was the soft, low rumble coming from Peter.

**Author's Note:**

> Did you know there’s a fully transparent frog species where you can just?? See through their skin and LITERALLY view their insides like their organs and shit??? Absolute whack love it
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this fic and stay safe!! Wash your hands, wear a mask, don’t let Ms Corona get you
> 
> Edit: what the hell not that i’m complaining but why is this my most kudo-ed fic?? this short thing I wrote within like two days?? Thank you wow


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